Tag Archives: sex advice

Five Tips to Shedding Your Single Self in 2018




We’re the first to admit that being single can be a blast, but according to new search from REAL-SEXCONTACTS.COM, how much fun you have partnerless may depend on which city you call home. This is important and relevant, as the United States Census Bureau reports 45 percent of adults in the U.S is unmarried. It appears the surveyor wants singles to have some fun because they’ve recently compared more than 180 U.S. cities across 32 key indicators of something it termed “dating-friendliness.”

Those indicators include the number of online dating opportunities in each city, nightlife options per capita, prices for alcohol and food and so on. For example, if you’re looking for a cheap date, Garden Grove, California may appeal to you as it boasts the lowest dining costs. (Juneau, Alaska has the highest.) Gilbert, Arizona offers the most online dating opportunities for their citizens while high-profile cities like New York and Las Vegas host the most nightlife options per capita.

When the data was all tallied and organized into an infographic, analysts deemed San Francisco the best city for singles. Following San Francisco are Atlanta, Los Angeles, Denver, San Diego, Seattle, Chicago, Portland, Minneapolis and Portland. The worst cities for singles include South Burlington, Vermont; Brownsville, Texas; and some place called Hialeah, Florida.

No matter where you live, though, it can be tough to snag yourself a date, whether you’re looking for long-term, short-term or just a one-night stand. To help, we’ve provided the results of some noteworthy studies that insist there can indeed be a scientific approach to being irresistible to the opposite sex.

Confidence is great, but don’t get too carried away. Research from the University of California at Berkeley analyzed the behavior of 60 male and 60 female participants on online dating sites and found both men and women tend to aim out of their league. However, researchers found singles were most likely to get a response if that person resembled a similar level of attraction, which was determined by individually selected raters. Researchers argue the approach relieves two things: (1) the paranoia that you’re partner will cheat and (2) subsequent worry that you could have done better.

Research from the United Kingdom took photos of several men and digitally altered the color of their clothing. When women saw images of men in red clothes, they rated them both more aggressive and more attractive. Ladies in red were rated similarly. Researchers note the color correlates with testosterone production in many species and has a distinguishable impact on our perception of potential mates. It’s an easy experiment to test for yourself, so have at it for your next date.

It comes as no surprise, but women like men who are funny. A study based on the results of an international BBC online survey of more than 200,000 people revealed women overwhelmingly rate humor as the most important trait in a male partner, where they often conflate humor with intelligence. However, while research from the University of Kansas found similar results, the authors insisted humor connects to one’s sociability over intelligence. Either way, both are good.

If you plan to visit any of these single-friendly locales, you may want to travel with your closest wingmen–just make sure they’re good-looking. Research from the University of California at San Diego found that people are generally rated better-looking in groups than when they approach someone by themselves. Researchers have coined this result the “cheerleader effect,” as people appear more attractive in groups because combined faces blend into a group average, which helps “even out” any one person’s unattractive qualities.

While strolling single-friendly cities, consider bringing your pooch along. Not only are they great conversation-starters, but research from France found women are three times more likely to give their number to a man with a dog than to a man who was alone. Evolutionarily, research suggests women correlate a man and his dog to how he will treat his future children. Additionally, a survey from the University of Nevada found that half of women judged a date based on how he handled his fur baby, and 35 percent said they were more attracted to a man who owned a pet.


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5 Thoughts Everyone Has During Their First Time Having Anal Sex.

I am unashamed about the fact that I’ve done butt stuff. Let’s get rid of that stigma right now. Ain’t nothing wrong with some anal sex. But your first time having anal sex can be a little bit intimidating. While there’s lots of content losing your virginity is readily explained in television and film (though, it’s definitely a bit misleading) and also in sex ed, there’s not really a how-to guide for butt sex out there in the cultural zeitgeist.

However, people are having it, and they deserve to be informed. It’s not exactly an activity that you can do without any planning. You can’t be watching Game of Thrones with your boo and then be like, “Hey, wanna put it in my butt during this Volvo commercial?”

No, if you’re going to have anal sex, you have to think it out beforehand. I remember the first time I had it, I had no idea what I was in for. I didn’t use enough lube (it hurt so badly, I thought I was going to die), we weren’t in the right position, and I definitely left a little present on my boyfriend’s dick when we were done. Sorry. I didn’t say this was going to be pretty.

So here are some thoughts everyone has had during their first time having anal sex. And if you haven’t had it yet, you can expect to have them, too.

1. “I Think We Need More Lube”

Mmmm, if you’re thinking this, then most likely, you do need more lube. When it comes to anal, lube is your best friend. Megan Andelloux of The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health told Elite Daily, “For anal play, start with four to six drops on the object going in the butt and four to six drops on the anus. If things feel dry, then slowly add more. Don’t dump half the bottle on the butt right away.”

2. “Am I Pooping?”

Most likely, you’re definitely not pooping on your partner or on whatever toy you have in you, if you’ve opted for that route instead. But unfortunately, it is a possibility. “Expecting to have anal without coming in contact with feces is like expecting to have vaginal sex without coming in contact with vaginal lubrication,” Andelloux  “The good news is that there is a difference between coming in contact with feces and shitting everywhere.”

So, prepare for the worst and hope for the best when it comes to sh*tting during anal sex…  that’s how that old phrase goes!

3. “OK, Slow Down”

When it comes to anal sex, slow and steady wins the race. Dr. Martha Lee, clinical sexologist and author of Love, Sex and Everything In Between and Orgasmic Yoga

Anal sex hurts if you are doing it wrong. The best way to go about anal play is slowly – obviously after you have had consent to proceed. If your partner is unable to relax sufficiently so that you can penetrate their anus with one then two of your fingers, then obviously, they are not ready for your penis to enter.

Going slowly also means gradually finding the right position, as well as pacing. Dr. Lee suggests a side-by-side spooning position, which provides the greatest level of comfort for when you’re being done in the butt. Plus, you can stimulate your clitoris at the same time.

4. “Can I Touch Myself At The Same Time?”

The answer to this question is absolutely yes — and you should. Your partner can touch you, you can touch yourself, or you can throw a sex toy into the mix if you really want to spice things up. Get as much pleasure as you can out of the experience. While you can actually have an orgasm from anal sex alone, incorporating clitoral stimulation at the same time will give you double the pleasure and double the fun.

5. “Wow, I Actually Like This!”

Like I said before, anal sex can actually give you a killer orgasm. “Nerve endings are points on the surface of your body that are responsible for sending messages to your brain when you feel sensations, such as heat, cold, pain, and pleasure,” Alicia Sinclair, founder and CEO of b-Vibe“There are thousands of them located in the genitals and anal canal. I believe that people of all genders should take a shame-free approach to discovering as many of these nerve endings as possible.”

So if you’ve had butt sex before, then you’ve probably thought some of these things yourself. And if you’re planning on having it, prepare for these thoughts to cross your mind. Who knows? You might end up enjoying it? And if you do it right, I promise, you won’t end up pooping on anyone. Well… maybe.



The Suite Life: Why Hotel Sex is Better.



You know how whenever two people have an extramarital affair in a movie, they always book a cheap hotel room to commence with all the banging? There’s a few obvious reasons to knock boots at, say, the Hampton Inn. If you’re cheating on your partner, you probably shouldn’t do it in his or her bed. And besides, the Hampton Inn has a gnarly breakfast buffet.

But it turns out fictional philanderers—and real-life adulterers—are onto something greater: sex is just plain better in hotels than it is at home, according to researchers.

That’s because whenever you’re in a new place, your brain produces loads of dopamine, the feel-good neurochemical that affects your moods. (The same chemical also gets released when you work out, drink alcohol, snort cocaine, eat chocolate and listen to Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe.”) The more you deviate from your regular routine, the more you boost your sex life—a psychological concept called “self-expansion,” according to Amy Muise, a psychology professor at York University in Canada. “It’s about doing things outside the bedroom that enhance desire and closeness, which tends to lead to a greater likelihood of (and better) sex,” Muise told The Huffington Post.

Plus, hotels are associated with vacations, which automatically make you feel more relaxed. And the less stressed you are, the hornier you are. “For sexual arousal to occur, especially in women, parts of the brain associated with anxiety and stress need to turn off,” sex counselor Ian Karner. Talk about enjoying your stay.



Porn Is Ruining Real-Life Sex for Women



When you watch porn and the man on screen has a dick the size of a billy club, are you envious? Well perhaps you should be. A new study from the University of New Brunswick has found that women who watch porn are generally disappointed by real life sex. Womp, womp.

Because we rarely witness research that explores women’s relationship with pornography, Canadian researchers surveyed more than 1,000 adults, two-thirds of which were female, and found that, like men, too much smut can be a bad thing. The most prominent ailments among women are feelings of insecurity paired with unrealistic expectations, both of which are key contributors to one’s sexual disappointment.

But don’t despair, it’s not men’s faults for failing to meet these expectations (though straight men in particular were deemed the worst lovemakers in a study by the Kinsey Institute). Instead, researchers insist porn is to blame. Something I’m sure we’re all A-OK with, as our pride remains intact.

What people don’t see is that the unrealistic sex portrayed in porn is something even porn stars can’t live up to. In an interview with Keiran Lee, a male porn actor whose giant penis is insured for one million dollars, the Brazzers performer told me that, even for him, porn sex couldn’t be more different from real sex.

“I’m actually pathetic at home,” he says. “I have to apologize to my wife as I two pump chump it. I don’t have to worry about cameras and lights, so I can just enjoy myself. And sometimes, I enjoy myself a little too much.”

As previously noted, the research found porn also makes women feel terrible about themselves as “individuals who consume visual pornography may experience some forms of sexual insecurity and sexual expectations related to their pornography use.”

Lucia O’Sullivan, professor of Psychology at the University of New Brunswick, blames the results on a lack of sexual education. “Young people turn to porn to find out how things work, but what they learn is not especially helpful,” she says.

“Porn provides lessons in exaggerated performance, dominance and self-indulgence. The relationships are superficial and detached.” O’Sullivan adds that “producers rely heavily on shock value to maximize viewer arousal, distorting our understanding of what is typical or common among our peers.”

Norway’s national broadcaster plans to cease sexual education through porn by hosting real couples having sex live on television, a show that’s being marketed at teens.

The study may seem anti-porn, but researchers did make sure to note that there were plenty of sexual concerns unrelated to porn consumption. They even make a point to mention that porn is a healthy sexual outlet, so don’t feel compelled to ditch porn altogether because porn isn’t the problem here. It never was. Like all forms of media where bodies, faces and personalities are airbrushed and manufactured, nothing is ever as it seems, and it’s our responsibility to determine what’s real and what’s not.


Grind My What?! – Historical Euphemisms For Sex That Will Leave You Baffled





You may be surprised to find out that many of our most popular sexual euphemisms, including “humping,” “shagging,” “getting frisky,” and even good old “f*ck,” aren’t modern inventions; they’ve been part of the English language for centuries. While it may go against what you’ve learned about history in school, people have always loved to use ridiculous euphemisms to describe filthy things (the F word is actually one of the oldest sexual euphemisms in the English language, first recorded in 1508).

Why? Well, our embrace of saucy slang was partially designed to get around societal restrictions on dirty talk in the past; but sex euphemisms have also always been popular because, well, using slang is fun. Which is why, in addition to terms that we still use today, the English language is also littered with hilarious, ridiculous, and outdated phrases used to describe sex — old-fashioned expressions, which make no sense to our modern ears.

Make The Beast With Two Backs – Time Period: 1500s to 1600s

Of all the past euphemisms for sex, this is one you’re most likely to know — mainly because Iago uses it in Othello. And, of course, it’s a pretty visual image.

Give Someone A Green Gown – Time Period: 1300s

Oddly innocent-sounding, this term specifically means having sex in the grass or on a hillside.

Shaking Of The Sheets – Time Period: 1500s to 1600s

This is actually a reference to a medieval kind of dance, though if you wanted to be really wink-wink, nudge-nudge about it, you’d add “without music” to the end of the phrase.

Play Nug-A-Nug – Time Period: 1500 to 1510

The actual meaning of the word nug has been lost to history, but a lot of English slang uses “playing something or other” as a euphemism for sex. Which is charming, because it at least implies that everybody’s having fun.

Have Your Corn Ground – Time Period: 1800 to 1810

This term — meant to represent a lady’s sexual perspective — references the method where corn is ground by pounding it repeatedly with a stone. Sounds less than satisfying, but hey, what do I know?

Fadoodling – Time Period: 1611

Well isn’t this just fabulously delightful? James VI was the King of England, and fashion was questionable to say the least. It goes to follow the language would be just as gushy.

Play Itch-Buttocks – Time Period: Late 1700s

No, this isn’t actually a reference to STDs — it’s just another reference to playing a game of the era. Trying to itch each other’s buttocks doesn’t sound particularly sexually alluring, though.

Make Butter with One’s Tail – Time Period: 1590s

To make or churn butter involves a lot of vigorous, circular movements. And if you’re moving your buttocks (or tail) in circles, it probably means you’re having a good time in bed.

Pierce The Hogshead – Time Period: Early 1600s

A hogshead wasn’t actually a pig’s head, but a measure of wine or liquor — quite a huge amount, actually. You broke into it by piercing the side with a knife to drink from it. Hello, phallic symbolism!

Take A Turn At Bushy Park – Time Period: 1800s

Not the reference to hairy nether regions that you might expect. Bushy Park is a real park in London, and this euphemism probably sprang up amongst the men who went there to solicit prostitutes or have illicit liaisons.

Make Whoopee – Time Period: 1920s

This charming term from the ’20s is now a famous jazz standard sung by the likes of Ray Charles — but there’s no question that this phrase means getting dirty, not just having fun.

Horizontal Refreshment – Time Period: 1860s

This gives the pleasing impression of breaking for a mid-coital ice cream. And is about the only one of these terms you could use to propose sex to a person in this day and age without getting punched in the face.

These days, since speaking frankly is the norm and making up elaborate euphemisms for sexy time is mostly left to either the deeply religious or college lads looking for a laugh. So if you were thinking of using any of the above old-timey sex euphemisms in your next dirty talk session, beware — while we might find these no longer used terms funny or charming out of context, using them while you’re actually getting down might send the wrong idea, and leave you with one very puzzled (and possibly giggly) partner on your hands.


So guys, which of those do you think was the weirdest? What other whacky terms for getting down and dirty have you heard? Share with us in the comments.


Women are either bisexual or gay but ‘never straight’

Most women are either bisexual or gay but “never straight”, a study suggests.

“This shows us that how women appear in public does not mean that we know anything about their sexual role preferences”
Dr Gerulf Rieger

Research has found that though lesbians are much more attracted to the female form, most women who say they are straight are in fact aroused by videos of both naked men and naked women.

The study, led by Dr Gerulf Rieger from the Department of Psychology at the University of Essex, involved 345 women whose responses to being shown videos of naked men and women were analysed.

The results, which were based on elements such as whether their pupils dilated in response to sexual stimuli, showed that 82% of the women tested were aroused by both sexes.

Meanwhile of the women who identified as straight, 74% were strongly sexually aroused by videos of both attractive men and attractive women.

Lesbians showed stronger sexual responses to women than to menLesbians showed stronger sexual responses to women than to men  

This was in contrast to lesbians, who showed much stronger sexual responses to women than to men.

The researchers said lesbians were the most like men in their responses because it is usually men who show distinct sexual responses to their favourite sex.

Dr Rieger said: “Even though the majority of women identify as straight, our research clearly demonstrates that when it comes to what turns them on, they are either bisexual or gay, but never straight.”


Dr Rieger also said his study showed that lesbians who may dress in a more masculine way may not have more masculine behaviours.

“Although some lesbians were more masculine in their sexual arousal, and others were more masculine in their behaviours, there was no indication that these were the same women,” he said.

“This shows us that how women appear in public does not mean that we know anything about their sexual role preferences.”

There’s a Reason Your Date’s Food Always Looks Better Than Yours





If you’re planning a dinner date this weekend, prepare to feel a specific emotion known as food envy. This may be the first time you’ve heard of it, but it’s a feeling we’re all familiar with. It’s the moment you look down at buffalo chicken salad and immediately regret your menu choice as your companion devours a juicy, rare steak—which, in my imagination, are always topped with those delicate crispy onions served at roadhouses.

While we’re all familiar with regretting our order the minute the waitress turns her back, a new poll of 2,200 people from OpenTable reveals just how gravely food envy impacts the dining experience. First, pretty much everybody experiences these incessant pangs of envy—nine of 10 diners, in fact. Of these angry diners, a third result in a heated argument, followed by the silent treatment.

Food envy hits hardest the moment the food arrives. Surprisingly, food envy impacts women more than men, 43 to 36 percent. While men are likely more emotionally driven by food, this result is probably attributed to the fact that women feel more pressure to order lighter items.

The most common emotions associated with food envy are disappointment (47 percent), regret (37 percent) and hunger (33 percent). How does one remedy it? Almost 40 percent say they’ll simply visit the restaurant another time while 30 percent beg their companion to share some of their meal. That, or they’ll steal from the dish anyway.

The main reasons for food envy are one’s indecision (41 percent) and willingness to experiment with new dishes and then regretting it (33 percent). To avoid these situations, 84 percent of respondents admit they take precautionary measures, with 46 percent previewing a restaurant’s menu beforehand, 34 percent glancing at what other are eating and 32 percent asking the restaurant’s staff for recommendations.

Food envy doesn’t only exist at restaurants, either. At least half of people who experience food envy also experienced the emotion when they saw food on TV (68 percent), on social media (50 percent) or while having a conversation (57 percent). How does one cure it? Easy. Order the burger you wanted in the first place.



Here at Sex  REAL-SEXCONTACTS, we spend a lot of time answering listener questions and we love every minute of it! So this week, we wanted to do something different. We flipped the script and put out a question to all of you:

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We asked listeners, followers (from REAL-SEXCONTACTS.COM and REALBRITISHSEX.COM) and overall fans of us to think back to an amazing sexual encounter and tell us what made it so incredible.

We were were thoroughly impressed, aroused and inspired by all your responses. In fact, we received so much great feedback that we decided to tease it out a little bit.. Since we know how much some of you enjoy that..

So without further ado, the first installment:
5 tips for truly mind-blowing, knee-weakening sex for you, BY YOU!

1. Foreplay
No surprise there.. As real-sexcontacts always say, foreplay is a requirement, not a suggestion, and is a key ingredient to any sexual encounter. But for those who aren’t used to being treated to a full serving of delicious foreplay, it can really leave a long-lasting orgasmic impression! Kudos to those of you who knew to step it up, and truly enjoyed the outcome.


2. Romance
For many listeners, great sex is about more than just bodies doing what they’ve been biologically programmed to do.. It’s about the meaning underneath it. This is where romance becomes a major game-changer.

To take a night of ordinary sex and make it extraordinary, one must turn the sex itself into a thoroughly romantic experience. Don’t just toss sex out like an invitation to the movies. Woo your partner. Sweep them off of their feet. Make them feel loved. This is the time to bust out that sexy playlist you’ve been working on, turn down the lights and fire up some mood-setting candles. If you build the romantic atmosphere, they will come.. Again and again and again.

3. Multiple Orgasms
So yes, there were multiple mentions of multiple orgasms being a staple of mind-blowing sex.. Real shocker! Everyone wants to know that they are rocking their partner’s world, so it kind of goes without saying: the more orgasms, the better the sex.

Anyone can become a master of the O’s, with a fair amount of practice and the right mindset. It’s half physical (knowing the lay of the land, down below) and half mental (Are you relaxed? In the moment? Is your brain “turned on”?). Need a little extra guidance? This blog gives you the three steps to multiple O’s.

4. Sharing the Pleasure
According to several accounts, the delivering of orgasms garnered just as much excitement, if not more, than being on the receiving end. Several listeners revealed that truly mind-blowing sex came from experiencing their partner’s pleasure, and knowing that THEY were the ones who made their partner’s feel that good. It’s a proud moment, isn’t it?

Three tips to help you and your partner share the pleasure:

  • Leave the lights on (or at least light some candles)
  • Keep your eyes open.
  • Don’t hold back.

5. Time
You know what they say. The best things in life are worth waiting for and that includes multiple orgasms. Yep, they take time. Several respondents indicated that the best sex they ever had “lasted all night”.

Now “all night” is a bit of a stretch.. Who’s got that kind of time?

9 Role Play Scenarios for Sexual Self-Discovery.

You don’t need a fully equipped love dungeon, or engage in an unusual fetish to put some extra pep into your sex life. With a bit of imagination, you can experience some scorching hot sex in other ways. All you need to do is step into someone else’s shoes.

Sexual role play is not a new idea, but it is a good one and, as such, many sensual scenarios have been created, explored and shared.

Whether you crave punishment from a devilish dominatrix, getting up close and personal in a game of doctors and nurses, or sharing some horny passion with a mysterious stranger, here are some classic suggestions for ultimate character-fuelled copulation.

The Boss and the Secretary

As one of many role plays where one person has the power under which the other becomes utterly helpless, this is a great introduction to bondage. When one of you plays the boss, the other can be the eager-to-please assistant, or even one who has been slacking off terribly. either way, the paperwork has been mounting up for too long and it’s about time the two of you got down to a bit of long overdue after hours admin.

Home Delivery

Something wrong with your internet connection? Lightbulb needs changing and it’s just out of reach? Whether the toaster is broken and you are desperate for a different kind of crumpet, or you are hungry for something more than what the pizza guy has got in his box, this could be the game for you. There’s something about sex with a stranger that can be a real turn on, so when someone rings your doorbell and you answer in your finest lingerie, now that’s a wireless signal we can all make a connection with!

Man Maid Action

The man of the house needs help keeping his place ship-shape, and who better to call than the local French maid cleaning service? Imagine his surprise when this sexy stranger in her tantalising outfit shows up on the doorstep and gets going with the dirtiest kind of cleaning he has ever seen. All that reaching, bending and stretching to get to those hard to reach places will give him a show that he is just too tempted to resist.

Playing Doctors and Nurses

We know this scenario is a little cliché and far from an original role play idea, but there’s a reason why it’s such a time-honoured favourite. And that reason is because sexy nurses and dashing doctors are just awesome. Few other real-life situations allow two people to get so close together. As the two of you innocently try to discover what the problem might be, those hands might stumble upon something altogether naughtier, meaning you’ll soon having the kind of check-up that would have most of us going back for regular appointments.

The Hitchhiker

Let go of your inhibitions and take your role play fantasies out of the house with this kinky classic that combines the excitement of car sex with the added fictional task of picking up a total stranger. Arrange for you and your partner to meet somewhere on your journey from A to B, but don’t be too specific as this will help increase the anticipation. The hitchhiker stranded on the side of the road might not have any money to chip in for petrol, but we’re sure you can pull over to a a secluded spot and find even better ways for them to repay the driver’s kindness.

The possibilities are limited only by the imagination, so if getting dressed up in the name of sexual self-discovery sounds appealing to you, get started and get satisfied.

Porn Star

Pick a porn you both like and reenact it together.

Strangers at the bar

Arrive separately to the same bar, flirt a little bit with other people, then eventually go and talk to one another like you’re strangers. This will get the feelings flowing as you start to remember exactly what drew you to each other in the first place.

Hollywood Starlet

You play the sexy star and your partner can be your secret admirer. Do your hair, do your makeup, put yourself in a fancy gown and let your inner diva nature go wild.

Hotel Maid and Guest

Slip into a sexy maid costume and after one knock on the door from “housekeeping” things will heat up in no time.