Tag Archives: sex advice

sex advice

Don’t Be Snared by the Sex Trap – How To Be Friends Wth Benefits and Stay that Way.

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Being in a longer term friends with benefits situation with someone can seem like a dream come true, especially if you are not interested in anything more than a satisfying romp!

But a few good movies, and a few bad stories from friends, could have taught you a few things about the infamous FWB relationship. Watch out for the warning signs that your bedmate is craving something more.

They say you can’t have your cake and eat it too, but if that’s exactly what you want, here are some things you need to keep in mind:

Don’t Let That L-Bomb Drop

Never fall in love with a FWB. This is the biggest rule and the easiest one to remember. But then again…it can also be the hardest one to follow.

Have Emotional Maturity

Understand what kind of relationship you’re getting into right from the start. There isn’t supposed to be a happy ending. Make sure you both stay satisfied with a horny ending whenever you hook up and leave the mushy stuff to the committed.

Set Ground Rules

How often should you call each other and how often should you meet? These rules aren’t set in stone, but both of you must make a conscious effort to follow them for the benefit of the other.

Buddy Respect

If you’re not feeling it one day then don’t just ignore their texts or calls. Just politely reply saying ‘no thanks’ in order to keep the relationship healthy. They might just be your friendly sexual playmate but you should still treat them how you would want to be treated yourself.

Timing is Everything

It’s not realistic to expect your bed buddy to drop everything when you are in the mood and vice versa. You both need to respect you have your own lives and not get frustrated or angry if you can’t accommodate each other’s every need.

Try Not to Get Clingy

Your friend with benefits isn’t your lover. If they are constantly calling you or trying to make conversation when they have nothing better to do, it could be a sign that they are looking for more.

Shush! Keep it a Secret

Don’t talk to your friends about your shag buddy. Gossip has a funny way of spreading within minutes after you reveal something personal. You will end up angering your FWB or getting a bad reputation. Besides, having a saucy little secret between the two of you may make it even more exciting.

Never Go on a Date

You may be intimate with each other, but try to avoid doing too many things together before you hit the bedroom. You’ll give out the wrong signals and possibly ruin your non-relationship.

Keep it Simple

Why find out about their personal goings on or have conversations about life and its problems. You’re into each other for sex and you really should avoid involving too much else. Call for one reason and one reason alone.

Be Honest

If you’re falling in love with your bedmate or feel things are slipping out of control, you owe it to them to at least let them know the truth so both of you can decide the course of the relationship.

Friends with benefits relationships have the potential to go very wrong and often aren’t all that successful. When people are involved, you are dealing with real emotions and expectations. Some might say that a true and long term ‘no-strings sex relationship’ is impossible. Just remember that when you are looking for a bed buddy, what you are really looking for, at its very core, is a mutually beneficial arrangement at the simplest level and without all the complicated frills. Be conscious of sending out the wrong vibes, keep within the boundaries and the whole situation can be quite incredible. Enjoy!

 

Ever been in an official friends with benefits arrangement? How did it go? Tell us in the comments.

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Is It Ever Okay to Send a Dick Pic?

 

 

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I matched with a girl on REAL-SEXCONTACTS, and our exchanges have gone from flirtatious to hot. We have yet to meet, but I think that will happen in the near future if I keep playing it right. In the meantime, we’ve been texting a lot at night, and I’m close to doing something I’ve never done before: send a dick pic. If I do, will I be blowing the chance she’ll want to hook up in real life?

When it comes to exchanging nudes, then, the same rules apply as when you’re having sex. It’s all about communication, consent and mutual respect. After all, a consensual sexy pic isn’t sleazy; it’s foreplay. Here are some guidelines to keep in mind:

1. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that once a woman sees your dick, she’ll want to see it anytime during the day. There’s something jarring about penises when they make surprise appearances in the wild.

2. Do your research before sending a lady your David imitation. The internet has plenty of tips for taking good dick pics. Nothing kills the mood faster than a full-length, badly lit bathroom-mirror selfie with a half chub.

3. Unless she initiates a sexy-pic exchange, don’t ask for one if you don’t plan to reciprocate. Sexting is an exercise in trust. You can’t demand what you’re unwilling to give.

4. I’ll emphasize “specifically requests one” one more time. “What’s up?” is not an invitation for you to send an X-rated selfie. Never send unsolicited dick pics, period. If you don’t know this yet in 2016, you’re the reason they get a bad rap.

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Have Yourself A Very Merry XXXmas

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Whether you’re going home for the Christmas holidays or have family and friends coming to stay with you, few of us manage to escape the holiday season without having, or being, an overnight guest in a family member’s home.

These are times when you’re supposed to be on your best (or at least better) behaviour. But staying under the same roof as your parents, siblings, or great aunt after so many years of freedom can be a strange and heady experience.

Add to this the pressures of the holiday season, and the lack of privacy in a family home can make the difference between a serene Christmas Eve dinner and an episode of a bad reality TV show.

Naturally that’s where sex comes in. Nothing can clear your head and make you forget petty differences like a midnight rendezvous with yourself or your partner. When sex is good it allows us to focus inward in a way that can rejuvenate us and give us more energy to deal with holiday stress.

But sex in such close proximity to family members can be tricky. The walls always seem thinner and there’s usually someone pottering around outside your door.

Understandably, many of us give up altogether. If you’re looking to add another tool to your holiday emergency preparedness kit, consider these tips on having sex discreetly over the holidays.

Choose Your Sex Play Wisely

Ten minutes before dinner is being served probably isn’t the best time to begin a Tantric sex session. Ditto on any rollicking tickle sessions involving sexual role play with feathers or blindfolds. Quickies may be the order of the day. Don’t worry so much about introducing new (possibly holiday themed) moves into your sex. Stick with the tried and true sex techniques you know will work, and work quickly.

Be Charitable – Don’t Expect Mind Blowing Sex

We are so goal-oriented when it comes to sex. The sexually enlightened want their orgasms, they want them now, and they want them their way. But ’tis the season for giving, and this may be a time to lower expectations, and focus on getting what you can, and not demanding the complete symphony when a single aria will do (but avoid any opera singing, it’s a dead giveaway).

Use Distraction Methods, Everyone Knows, But They’ll Appreciate the Effort

If you’ve got a radio in your room, turn it on. If you know that a moan is inevitable from your partner, do them a favour and mask it with a lot of loud unnecessary coughing. If you’re stuck in a small house, it’s likely that everyone knows what’s up, but there is probably a family member or two who will appreciate your attempts to be discrete.

Escape to the Bathroom

Probably the ideal place for a quick tryst, the bathroom affords a reasonable excuse for taking some time, plus concealing noises like running water, flushing toilets, etc… Out of courtesy to the rest of your family and other guests, only indulge in a visit to the powder room during low traffic times, unless you can guarantee that you’ll be quick.

Eroticise the Forbidden

Most of us do this anyway, but if you’ve got to act fast to ensure no one walks in (or to avoid the inevitable knocking on the door) use the forbidden fantasy element of what you’re doing to get your motors running.

And Most Important of All

DON’T, on any account, bring any sex toys if you are staying at a family member’s house. You might be able to pass off a discreet vibrator as a high-tech electric toothbrush, but hiding the anal love beads in a family-sized packet of m&m’s is a disaster waiting to happen!

What are your naughty plans for the season? Tell us in the comments. Happy Holidays everyone. 😉

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14 Things Every Guy Should Know About Dick Pics

No text is more polarizing than a dick pic. Thanks to Anthony Weiner, Kanye West and Brett Favre, they’ve gotten a bad rap in recent years. Why are we more accepting of sexts featuring the female body in graphic detail? It’s an emerging subculture with a lot of as-yet unanswered questions, but I think we can all agree on a, uh, handful of best practices.

So in the spirit of embracing some positive male objectification, here’s a handy guide to what to do when you want a certain someone to get a load of you.

 

1. ONE PERSON’S TRASH IS ANOTHER’S TURN-ON.
Some welcome them with open hearts and open orifices. Some “just don’t get them.” Others will maintain that they’re offensive, repulsive, even a deal-breaker. Have a good think about your prospective dick-pic recipient before you proceed to step 2.

2. THEY’RE SUBJECTIVE.
They have a poor reputation due to lack of consent. Only send one if you received a text that says, “Send me a picture of your dick” or you’ve been boning for a while and have a sext-heavy rapport or you have for asked and received the enthusiastic go-ahead.

3. KNOW YOUR SUBJECT.
What are its strengths? Weaknesses? If you’re unsure, there’s always the Tumblr page Critique My Dick. (Oh, and don’t be lazy—take your pants off.)

4. YOU’RE YOUR OWN FLUFFER.
Get hard and don’t let it go limp, not even close. I’ve known guys to send pictures of themselves standing naked in front of a mirror with a blank expression and a mostly flaccid member. Those pictures are not hot. They’re sad and creepy.

5. GIVE YOURSELF A HAND.
Since you are taking the photo, or at least that’s the assumption, you only have one free hand at your disposal. Use it to gently grasp the base. Many girls find it to be more sensual, and girls love sensual shit.

6. ACT LIKE AN ART DIRECTOR.
Lighting! Cinematography! Snapchat filters! Now is the time to channel your inner artiste. Keep it simple. Steer clear of fluorescent bulbs or using a flash. Natural or warm, yellowy light is best for self-portraits of any kind, especially penis portraits. Also, remove any clutter from the background; it’s a mood-ruiner.

7. ANGLE IS EVERYTHING.
The old point-of-view shot is the standard, and there’s value in tradition. But it’s often more flattering to take a photo from the front, not above, so utilize the self-timer. Include just a little bit of man bod. If you take a shot of your dick peeking out from a pair of sweaty gym shorts, it will probably look like a turtle recoiling into its shell.

8. MIND YOUR PUBES.
Pubes are a matter of personal preference. You don’t want your pubic hair stealing the spotlight. If anything, it should enhance, not detract. If it makes your phallus look smaller than it actually is, trim it down.

9. BALLS ARE EVEN MORE DELICATE.
Much like the tenderness they possess, photographing the family jewels is a fragile endeavor. We know they’re there, but they don’t need to be seen. They just don’t photograph well. If your balls steal the spotlight, that’s an issue.

10. NO BABIES. EVER.
Thanks to Anthony Weiner, this is where we are. If we’ve learned anything from the disgraced politician, it’s to use discretion. Sleeping toddlers should never, ever be involved in your dick pic.

11. OR INANIMATE OBJECTS.
The concept of holding a ruler, soda can, remote control or tube of cherry Chapstick (yes, seriously) alongside your dick to show scale is lame. It almost guarantees a photo that won’t turn anyone on.

12. THINK WITH YOUR BRAIN, NOT WITH YOUR DICK.
Ask yourself, “What’s the goal here?” Are you trying to inspire an instantaneous orgasm? Gain a fuckbuddy? Get a photo in return? Just showing off? Compensating for mediocre social skills? For example, some guy named Ryan told The Cut: “When all the hints of my desperation have been sent verbally or in text, the logical next move is the dick pic.” No!

13. BE PREPARED FOR IT TO BE SHARED AND LAUGHED AT.
This is a valid possibility. There’s also the chance the recipient will put it in an art show. Be 100 percent pleased with what you’re sending out. Even Snapchat isn’t safe; everyone knows you can take a screenshot of anything. Recently, Ginuwine direct-messaged some girl on Instagram and then his “peen took over the Internet.”

14. SEND ONLY THE BEST.
You think your first dick pic will be your last? Real photographers take hundreds of shots to get the winner, and you would be wise to do the same. Delete the rejects. Why would you want unflattering shots of your precious genitalia floating around the cloud? Put a little effort into it. If all else fails, you can just hire a professionaltumblr_n0192nrbc51sq8730o2_400

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A Handy List of Sexual Dos and Do Nots. Brought to you by REAL-SEXCONTACTS.COM

Every week, there are plenty of stories of people doing stuff no one should ever think of trying. We’d thought we’d provide a few handy sexual yays and nays, based on some this week’s headlines.

Do: Take an interest in your partner’s anatomy.

Don’t: Take such a paranoid interest that you demand to check your partner’s vagina to see if she still has her hymen.

No dude should ever ask to see a woman’s hymen. Simple as that.

Do: Have fun with a camera once in awhile and film your sex life.

Don’t: Use a camera to illegally film the sex lives of your Airbnb guests.

It’s not cool to film strangers having sex. It’s really not cool to set up hidden cameras in your house to film your Airbnb guests having sex. That’s jail time, bro.

Do: Recognize that some people are bisexual.

Don’t: Recognize that some people are bisexual and then grow terrified at the idea of dating a bisexual.

Recently, 47% of survey respondents reported they’d be scared to date a bisexual. Look, bisexuals aren’t risky lovers. They aren’t more diseased or more likely to cheat on you. They’re just like they’re kettle corn: salty and sweet, the best of both worlds.

Do: Remember not everyone knows their own body.

Don’t: Make fun of them for not knowing their own body.

When asked to point one out, 44% of British women struggled to locate a vagina or cervix on an anatomy chart. Of course, it would be super easy to make a few jokes about how British women don’t know a vagina from a hole in the ground, but we won’t do that, because the point is, a lot of people don’t know about their body. Laughing at them won’t help. If you do laugh, they’re far less likely to have sex with you.tumblr_o5s70o4swx1uldd3qo1_540