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You may be surprised to find out that many of our most popular sexual euphemisms, including “humping,” “shagging,” “getting frisky,” and even good old “f*ck,” aren’t modern inventions; they’ve been part of the English language for centuries. While it may go against what you’ve learned about history in school, people have always loved to use ridiculous euphemisms to describe filthy things (the F word is actually one of the oldest sexual euphemisms in the English language, first recorded in 1508).
Why? Well, our embrace of saucy slang was partially designed to get around societal restrictions on dirty talk in the past; but sex euphemisms have also always been popular because, well, using slang is fun. Which is why, in addition to terms that we still use today, the English language is also littered with hilarious, ridiculous, and outdated phrases used to describe sex — old-fashioned expressions, which make no sense to our modern ears.
Of all the past euphemisms for sex, this is one you’re most likely to know — mainly because Iago uses it in Othello. And, of course, it’s a pretty visual image.
Oddly innocent-sounding, this term specifically means having sex in the grass or on a hillside.
This is actually a reference to a medieval kind of dance, though if you wanted to be really wink-wink, nudge-nudge about it, you’d add “without music” to the end of the phrase.
The actual meaning of the word nug has been lost to history, but a lot of English slang uses “playing something or other” as a euphemism for sex. Which is charming, because it at least implies that everybody’s having fun.
This term — meant to represent a lady’s sexual perspective — references the method where corn is ground by pounding it repeatedly with a stone. Sounds less than satisfying, but hey, what do I know?
Well isn’t this just fabulously delightful? James VI was the King of England, and fashion was questionable to say the least. It goes to follow the language would be just as gushy.
No, this isn’t actually a reference to STDs — it’s just another reference to playing a game of the era. Trying to itch each other’s buttocks doesn’t sound particularly sexually alluring, though.
To make or churn butter involves a lot of vigorous, circular movements. And if you’re moving your buttocks (or tail) in circles, it probably means you’re having a good time in bed.
A hogshead wasn’t actually a pig’s head, but a measure of wine or liquor — quite a huge amount, actually. You broke into it by piercing the side with a knife to drink from it. Hello, phallic symbolism!
Not the reference to hairy nether regions that you might expect. Bushy Park is a real park in London, and this euphemism probably sprang up amongst the men who went there to solicit prostitutes or have illicit liaisons.
This charming term from the ’20s is now a famous jazz standard sung by the likes of Ray Charles — but there’s no question that this phrase means getting dirty, not just having fun.
This gives the pleasing impression of breaking for a mid-coital ice cream. And is about the only one of these terms you could use to propose sex to a person in this day and age without getting punched in the face.
These days, since speaking frankly is the norm and making up elaborate euphemisms for sexy time is mostly left to either the deeply religious or college lads looking for a laugh. So if you were thinking of using any of the above old-timey sex euphemisms in your next dirty talk session, beware — while we might find these no longer used terms funny or charming out of context, using them while you’re actually getting down might send the wrong idea, and leave you with one very puzzled (and possibly giggly) partner on your hands.
So guys, which of those do you think was the weirdest? What other whacky terms for getting down and dirty have you heard? Share with us in the comments.
