When you watch porn and the man on screen has a dick the size of a billy club, are you envious? Well perhaps you should be. A new study from the University of New Brunswick has found that women who watch porn are generally disappointed by real life sex. Womp, womp.
Because we rarely witness research that explores women’s relationship with pornography, Canadian researchers surveyed more than 1,000 adults, two-thirds of which were female, and found that, like men, too much smut can be a bad thing. The most prominent ailments among women are feelings of insecurity paired with unrealistic expectations, both of which are key contributors to one’s sexual disappointment.
But don’t despair, it’s not men’s faults for failing to meet these expectations (though straight men in particular were deemed the worst lovemakers in a study by the Kinsey Institute). Instead, researchers insist porn is to blame. Something I’m sure we’re all A-OK with, as our pride remains intact.
What people don’t see is that the unrealistic sex portrayed in porn is something even porn stars can’t live up to. In an interview with Keiran Lee, a male porn actor whose giant penis is insured for one million dollars, the Brazzers performer told me that, even for him, porn sex couldn’t be more different from real sex.
“I’m actually pathetic at home,” he says. “I have to apologize to my wife as I two pump chump it. I don’t have to worry about cameras and lights, so I can just enjoy myself. And sometimes, I enjoy myself a little too much.”
As previously noted, the research found porn also makes women feel terrible about themselves as “individuals who consume visual pornography may experience some forms of sexual insecurity and sexual expectations related to their pornography use.”
Lucia O’Sullivan, professor of Psychology at the University of New Brunswick, blames the results on a lack of sexual education. “Young people turn to porn to find out how things work, but what they learn is not especially helpful,” she says.
“Porn provides lessons in exaggerated performance, dominance and self-indulgence. The relationships are superficial and detached.” O’Sullivan adds that “producers rely heavily on shock value to maximize viewer arousal, distorting our understanding of what is typical or common among our peers.”
Norway’s national broadcaster plans to cease sexual education through porn by hosting real couples having sex live on television, a show that’s being marketed at teens.
The study may seem anti-porn, but researchers did make sure to note that there were plenty of sexual concerns unrelated to porn consumption. They even make a point to mention that porn is a healthy sexual outlet, so don’t feel compelled to ditch porn altogether because porn isn’t the problem here. It never was. Like all forms of media where bodies, faces and personalities are airbrushed and manufactured, nothing is ever as it seems, and it’s our responsibility to determine what’s real and what’s not.