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A Handy List of Sexual Dos and Do Nots. Brought to you by REAL-SEXCONTACTS.COM

Every week, there are plenty of stories of people doing stuff no one should ever think of trying. We’d thought we’d provide a few handy sexual yays and nays, based on some this week’s headlines.

Do: Take an interest in your partner’s anatomy.

Don’t: Take such a paranoid interest that you demand to check your partner’s vagina to see if she still has her hymen.

No dude should ever ask to see a woman’s hymen. Simple as that.

Do: Have fun with a camera once in awhile and film your sex life.

Don’t: Use a camera to illegally film the sex lives of your Airbnb guests.

It’s not cool to film strangers having sex. It’s really not cool to set up hidden cameras in your house to film your Airbnb guests having sex. That’s jail time, bro.

Do: Recognize that some people are bisexual.

Don’t: Recognize that some people are bisexual and then grow terrified at the idea of dating a bisexual.

Recently, 47% of survey respondents reported they’d be scared to date a bisexual. Look, bisexuals aren’t risky lovers. They aren’t more diseased or more likely to cheat on you. They’re just like they’re kettle corn: salty and sweet, the best of both worlds.

Do: Remember not everyone knows their own body.

Don’t: Make fun of them for not knowing their own body.

When asked to point one out, 44% of British women struggled to locate a vagina or cervix on an anatomy chart. Of course, it would be super easy to make a few jokes about how British women don’t know a vagina from a hole in the ground, but we won’t do that, because the point is, a lot of people don’t know about their body. Laughing at them won’t help. If you do laugh, they’re far less likely to have sex with you.tumblr_o5s70o4swx1uldd3qo1_540

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32 Reasons Playing ‘Pokémon Go’ Is Like Having Sex.

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At this point, a huge population of people have played Pokémon Go. Additionally, another huge section of people have had sex. While those populations may not overlap as much as we’d like, there is something to be learned about the things that having sex and playing Pokémon Go have in common.

  1. If you want to do it well you’re probably going to spend a little money at first.
  2. You’re WAY better after three and a half beers.
  3. You can do it in the comfort of your own home but it’s way more fun if you do it in the parking lot of the local church.
  4. There’s a Meowth on the end of the bed watching you and you can’t stop thinking about it.
  5. You try your best move but “It’s not very effective.”
  6. Your first time will be confusing and you won’t really know what you’re doing.
  7. After a couple months of doing it, you still won’t really know what you’re doing.
  8. There’s a great temptation to do it while driving but trust me you should NOT do it while driving.
  9. Be careful to only incubate the eggs you really want incubated.
  10. You’ll feel better about your performance if you hit the gym regularly.
  11. Doing it with a huge group of people sounds like a great idea but in the end you just get lost in the shuffle and go home to eat chocolate cake.
  12. No one is impressed by your Diglett.
  13. The incense you bought doesn’t work nearly as well as you had hoped.
  14. If you do it long enough there’s a fair chance you will catch them all.
  15. You’ll lay in bed awake thinking about how you wish your session had lasted longer.
  16. If you’re in a rural area: It’s not really going to happen for you, sorry.
  17. You’ll get online and complain afterwards.
  18. If you do it with your longtime girlfriend she’s going to want to be on her phone the whole time.
  19. Pidgey is there.
  20. The more you do it the better you become.
  21. But sometimes you get in your own head and everything turns to shit.
  22. You should NEVER trespass on someone’s land to do it. (Unless there’s a Squirtle involved.)
  23. No one listens to your ideas on how to make it better.
  24. You’re going to need to buy extra batteries if you expect anyone to have a good time.
  25. People get mad if you use your camera too often.
  26. You shouldn’t do it at work but let’s be honest you’re going to try to do it at work.
  27. Someone’s going to call you Jigglypuff and it won’t be a compliment.
  28. Older people say bad things about it but deep down we all know they’re just jealous.
  29. Sometimes “the servers are down” (if you know what I mean.)
  30. You once tried a curveball but it didn’t work at all and now there’s just a poof of smoke where she used to be.
  31. People have been killed doing it.
  32. You make plans to do it with friends but most of the time you end up doing it by yourself.